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Image or graphic for I’M NOT COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

I’M NOT COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Image or graphic for TURNS OUT I’M NOT A GREAT COOK, AFTER ALL

TURNS OUT I’M NOT A GREAT COOK, AFTER ALL

Image or graphic for MY NEIGHBORHOOD HAS BEEN SO MUCH COOLER EVER SINCE EVERYONE MOVED UPSTATE

MY NEIGHBORHOOD HAS BEEN SO MUCH COOLER EVER SINCE EVERYONE MOVED UPSTATE

Image or graphic for CHOPPING WOOD

CHOPPING WOOD

Image or graphic for I MISS MY DAILY COMMUTE ON THE L TRAIN

I MISS MY DAILY COMMUTE ON THE L TRAIN

Image or graphic for THE HARDEST THING ABOUT FINDING TOILET PAPER IS THAT I’M ALWAYS SO SPOILED FOR CHOICE

THE HARDEST THING ABOUT FINDING TOILET PAPER IS THAT I’M ALWAYS SO SPOILED FOR CHOICE

Image or graphic for I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO MY DAILY COMMUTE TO THE GROCERY STORE

I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO MY DAILY COMMUTE TO THE GROCERY STORE

Image or graphic for THEY SAY THERE ARE A BILLION STARS IN THE NIGHT SKY, BUT I’VE NEVER SEEN ANY.

THEY SAY THERE ARE A BILLION STARS IN THE NIGHT SKY, BUT I’VE NEVER SEEN ANY.

Image or graphic for I MADE THE MISTAKE OF SITTING IN THE MAP SEAT AGAIN.

I MADE THE MISTAKE OF SITTING IN THE MAP SEAT AGAIN.

Image or graphic for YOU’RE NOT A REAL NEW YORKER ‘TILL YOU’VE BEEN BAPTIZED BY THE AIR CONDITIONER DRIP

YOU’RE NOT A REAL NEW YORKER ‘TILL YOU’VE BEEN BAPTIZED BY THE AIR CONDITIONER DRIP

Image or graphic for THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING I’VE EVER PAID FOR IS THE BROKER’S FEE ON THE RENTAL APARTMENT THAT I LIVED IN FOR LESS THAN A YEAR

THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING I’VE EVER PAID FOR IS THE BROKER’S FEE ON THE RENTAL APARTMENT THAT I LIVED IN FOR LESS THAN A YEAR

Image or graphic for THE NEW YEAR’S EVE BALL DROP IS BEST VIEWED FROM MY TELEVISION

THE NEW YEAR’S EVE BALL DROP IS BEST VIEWED FROM MY TELEVISION

Image or graphic for I’M LITERALLY SO EXCITED TO GO AND SEE THE ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE

I’M LITERALLY SO EXCITED TO GO AND SEE THE ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE

Image or graphic for ONE TIME I CUT THE LINE IN FRONT OF AN OLD LADY TO GET ON A CROWDED SUBWAY

ONE TIME I CUT THE LINE IN FRONT OF AN OLD LADY TO GET ON A CROWDED SUBWAY

Image or graphic for WHEN I TRAVEL OUTSIDE NEW YORK IT’S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK AS SLOW AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES.

WHEN I TRAVEL OUTSIDE NEW YORK IT’S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK AS SLOW AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES.

Image or graphic for I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL A SPECIFIC ANGER OF WAITING IN LINE TO SWIPE AT THE SUBWAY TURNSTILE BEHIND SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIPE.

I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL A SPECIFIC ANGER OF WAITING IN LINE TO SWIPE AT THE SUBWAY TURNSTILE BEHIND SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIPE.

Image or graphic for IS IT ME OR DOES THIS SUBWAY STATION SMELL LIKE PEE?

IS IT ME OR DOES THIS SUBWAY STATION SMELL LIKE PEE?

Image or graphic for I Don’t Feel Like Taking The Subway. Let’s Take A Cab All The Way There

I Don’t Feel Like Taking The Subway. Let’s Take A Cab All The Way There

Image or graphic for ISN’T BROOKLYN A LITTLE SKETCHY? WHY WOULD YOU LIVE THERE?

ISN’T BROOKLYN A LITTLE SKETCHY? WHY WOULD YOU LIVE THERE?

Image or graphic for I’M LOVING NEW YORK CITY! BUT HOW DO I GET TO QUEENS

I’M LOVING NEW YORK CITY! BUT HOW DO I GET TO QUEENS

Image or graphic for Even More Pulp

Even More Pulp

Image or graphic for Das Leben Ist Kein Ponyhof

Das Leben Ist Kein Ponyhof

Image or graphic for How Cool Is This – A Mariachi Band In The Subway Car

How Cool Is This – A Mariachi Band In The Subway Car

Image or graphic for Do You Have This “I Love New York” T-Shirt In My Size?

Do You Have This “I Love New York” T-Shirt In My Size?

Image or graphic for Ooohh…It’s In Queens? I Don’t Know If I’ll Make It.

Ooohh…It’s In Queens? I Don’t Know If I’ll Make It.

Image or graphic for WAIT THE L TRAIN ISN’T CLOSING?

WAIT THE L TRAIN ISN’T CLOSING?

Image or graphic for This deli needs a bigger cream-cheese selection

This deli needs a bigger cream-cheese selection